-The Source ft. Candi Staton, in the style of Florence + The Machine
Welp...my summer is quickly and rapidly approaching its end. And to be honest, I am quite surprised. I've been pretty busy these past couple weeks counseling at church camps and being worn out by a bunch on kids. At the youth camp at my church, I had eight middle school girls for four days. Alllll to myself. What an interesting and growing experience! Haha. Now I'm a counselor at kid's camp and I have fourteen seven-year-old boys. WHOA. Hahahaha. It's also an experience! I should really be sleeping right now because I have to wake up sometime around 6:15am. But here I sit not able to sleep. I think I may take a shower.
Anyway, here are some thoughts on my summer. I thought that since a TON of my best friends were going to be gone this summer, that God would really just do something super impressive in my life. I figured He must have something really flipping awesome up His sleeve. So I figured I would apply to forty million jobs until I got one. And I never did. I got ONE interview, though...it looked really promising until they asked me when I would be leaving to go back to school. It even said, "Hire her!" on my application. BUMMER, MAN.
Also, I wasn't scheduled to be on the worship team this summer. Which is something that I am very passionate about...it is the medium by which I most connect with my Lord. However, I did get called in maybe three times as a back-up/replacement team member. Point being, I thought for sure God was going to do something CRAZY in my life for me...I was just thinking about it going into the summer and thinking that it was obvious that God had big plans for me.
With two and a half weeks left, I've finally come to the conclusion that this summer was not about me at all. I was so busy looking for what God was doing for me, that I completely missed the point. It's not about what God is going to do for me, but what I can do for God. I know this seems like an obvious answer, a simple solution, overkill, even. But for some reason, this idea was difficult for me to grasp. Now I see that all the time I spent just laying around, watching television, etc. could have been better spent on showing the love of God to other people who may not have experienced it yet.
I was so caught up in thinking and searching for what God was doing for me that I lost sight of what I was doing for Him. Yes, I went to church several times per week, but each time I just went looking to enrich my life. Recently, there was a sermon on humility. I found it to be applicable to my life in the slightest way, but now I see the bigger picture. I was consumed with the idea that God was going to show me something BIG; something NEW, that I was blinded to the fact that I am a servant of the Most High King. Often I would pray prayers, "God, reveal yourself to me. Work in my life." When I should have been crying out for others, "Jesus, work through me to speak to others! Show them Your unconditional love!" I HAVE His love. I know of His grace. I can speak of His good and perfect ways. So why was I so focused on myself?
It was actually about three weeks ago God showed me this passage in the Bible.
Ephesians 3:14-21
"14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
And I started to pray that out...it just really became a burden that God placed on my heart. And just the other night I prayed that God would show me something that He wanted me to know. Something that He wanted to teach me....I came across this passage:
Colossians 1:9-14
" 9 For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives,[a] 10 so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God,11 being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, 12 and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you[b] to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. 13 For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, 14 in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."
And this is my new mission. Not that I can focus on myself and what God is doing for me in order to gain access to Him. But that through what Jesus Christ has done for all of us on the cross, I have all access to the King and what I do to serve Him in response to His perfect love will only grow me closer to my Savior. He is always good and He loves each and every one of us. I am only disappointed that it took me so long to figure this out. Goodnight.
-1:14am
