"Ancestors, hear my plea...

...help me not to make a fool of me."

-Mulan

HAHA. Well, I don't really believe in the whole idea of ancestors helping you out, but I sure do believe that God can! And I am so thankful for that. :)

Anyway, I'm watching Mulan right now...for a very special reason....

I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND TOMORROW! AHH!

I really cannot contain my excitement. The last time I was there, the new Star Tours hadn't opened up yet, and the old one was closed, so I have been deprived for quite some time. :p

But anyhow, my family is on its way to my little humble abode. WOOT. I whipped up some pancake batter earlier so we can have some Mickey Mouse pancakes tomorrow morning before we head out!

Apparently, we're trying to leave at 7:15am. WHUT. Because Disneyland opens at 8:00am! We're always the type to get as much bang for our buck as possible, so I will also presume we will be staying until it closes (but who would want to leave any sooner than that, anyway?!).

AND WE GET TO SEE WORLD OF COLOR. Ohhhh my dear goodness, I am getting so pumped right now!

So I decided to stop watching "The O.C." because it just sends the wrong kind of message. Sure, it has some really great characters (SETH COHEN) and funny/humorous situations, but I think it exemplifies too much of a sex-driven lifestyle. And I really don't think it's healthy to be feeding one's mind with all that. Because that is certainly not what my life is about (not even remotely close). SO, I will no longer watch this show with the intention of watching the show and becoming emotionally invested in it. This was a decision made upon completion of the first season. Haha!

And then I watched the movie "The Holiday". I really like that movie. :)

But as I've been watching all these shows and movies, I realized that if that is indeed "real life", then I live nothing NEAR a normal life. I used to see romantic movies and shows and all that stuff and wonder why those things didn't happen to me or anyone I know. And then I realized that it's because I'm not entirely driven by my emotional investments. I am so thankful.

Now, I'm not saying I am any better than anyone else on this planet, because I DEFINITELY have my overwhelmingly share of shortcomings. But in spite of that, I have come to the realization that life is not about what "they" all tell us it is about. And I'm sure almost everyone has heard this idea, or something close to it, but, for Pete's sake, this is my blog and I'll write whatever I darn want to write!

All this to say, I think I'm excited for this Christmas break. And this Christmas. Although, I still have yet to purchase a gift for either of my parents...haha. Ahhhh, oh well.

So here I am, laying on a couch, watching Mulan, and waiting for family to arrive. I am so content with where I am in life, yet so frustrated with the staleness of it at the same time. AGH.

God is good and I have hope in Him.

peace.

-10:28pm

"California, here we come...

...right back where we started from."

-Phantom Planet

While I've been in my apartment alone, I have had a few revelations.

1. Drinking milk from the carton: a true sign of adulthood.

2. It's one thing to do everything alone while people are still around, and a whole NEW ballgame when you are entirely on your own.

I have watched probably close to five episodes of season one of "The O.C."! HAHA. Woot! And I love Seth Cohen. He is seriously SO funny. Everything he does...

My roommates had said that I am the female version of Seth Cohen, and I had caught glimpses of his splendor, but I really appreciate him. He makes me laugh so much...and I think it might be because I would probably do the same thing in most of his situations.

Ryan just said something profound, "I can't change where I've been; but I can change where I'm going."

There you have it, ladies and gents.

Welp, I'm quite tired after spending the evening with my sister, her roommate, and a friend of mine eating food and watching "The Help". SO GOOD.

Another inspirational quote for you, "You is kind, you is smart; you is important." AMEN to THAT, sistah! That will be a nice reminder for myself every once in a while. Of course, everyone needs to hear uplifting words.

Words of affirmation; so appreciated! Haha. I honestly don't even know what I'm saying right now. My mind is in so many places. I'm rambling. I'm thinking. I'm falling asleep. I'm watching The O.C. and falling in love with Seth Cohen. I'm laughing. I'm.......stopping. HA.

Alrighty, until next time.

peace.

-1:02am

My Heart Cries Out

"Create in me a clean heart, a clean heart
For I have turned my face from You
Teach us of Your ways oh God, oh God
For we have turned away from You
Lord have mercy

We will run to you, we will run to you
Turning from our sin we return to You
Father heal your world, make all things new
Make all things new

Your love and mercy build and shape us
Break us and recreate us now
Lord have mercy

Oh, bring us back to you"

-Gungor

peace.

-5:27pm

"All seem to say...

...throw cares away."

-Mykola Dmytrovich Leontovych/Peter J. Wilhousky

Guess what! I'm finally going to pick up my blog again. Or so I plan...haha.

I have stumbled upon many thoughts lately. Thoughts that I have always had, but always felt unqualified to really expand upon. But now I feel as though I am qualified to say and think anything that I want, because I feel well-informed. It is a fear-like feeling of mine to begin to talk about something without fully understanding the purpose or general idea of the thing; for risk of appearing foolish or unknowledgeable. Haha!

Anyhow, I had this (unoriginal) thought.

"To be alone is a dangerous thing."

Why, you may ask? And even if you don't ask, I will respond as if you had...

Well, if you think about it. Being alone gives you no concrete version of reality. Everything you see, feel, think, and the like, could really just be your mind being a trickster. And you would never know....*insert Twilight Zone music*

My apologies that I have just been in a seemingly philosophical state of mind more recently. But I'm not 100% apologetic. But here's the thing:

My Introduction to Philosophy class this semester was probably one of my favorite classes that I have taken at the university level, so far. And it's given me the tools and semi-confidence to actually share my thoughts with others in a more casual setting.

For our final, our professor gives us all of the prompts to the possible essay/short answer questions that could possibly be the ones assigned (in this case, there were two sets of five questions), with which to study in advance. On the day of the exam, it is up to "chance" which one will actually be assigned.

This "chance" is left up to the roll of a die. Based on student nomination, each number on the die 1-6 is delegated to represent one of the options. As I have always had this thought, I never actually voiced it because I didn't see it necessary. But this time was different. Because, though I did study for the exam, I felt more comfortable with one of the topics (Moreland's "A Contemporary Defense of Dualism") versus the other topic (Peter van Inwagen's "The Magnitude, Duration and, Distribution of Evil: A Theodicy").

So I turned to my study buddy, who was inconveniently sitting in the seat I had claimed as my own for the entire semester (really?! On the day of the final exam? Ha!), before the delegation of numbers and explained to him...

"You know, there's really no way for a die to be completely chance. By the very nature of being a physical object, confined to the laws of physics, we have to agree that the more mass an object has, the more gravitational pull it contains."

"Sure."

"So then, wouldn't you have to agree that since the dots on the die are carved out of the side, that the side with only one dot carved out would be more likely to land on the bottom, since it has the most gravitational pull? Thus giving the number six a higher chance of being rolled. Four, five and six are more likely to be rolled than one, two, or three. Just by the laws of physics! So we should really assign number six to Moreland!"

"That's why snake eyes are so rare to roll in dice games!" I added impromptu.

He agreed.

Of course, I am the type of person who has an opinion in class, but never has strong enough preferences to step on the toes of those who do or might have strong preferences, so I did not speak up in assigning the numbers...

And number six was assigned to PVI.

However, I just brushed it off, because, how accurate can I actually be?! It was a silly notion suggested by one sleep-deprived student.

And then it happened. With one roll of the die, my fate had been decided (yes, I am making this MUCH more dramatic than need be). After rolling into a student's bag, and probably some other hiccups in the supposedly simple process, the number six was rolled.

YUP. KNEW IT. CALLED IT. DON'T WANT IT.

Hahaha.

Of course it would be my luck that the one time I dare share my opposition to other minds, my theory is working against/for me. So I carried on with my exam, and I'm not sure how clearly I articulated myself. We'll see, I suppose.

ALL THAT TO SAY, I think if my professor REALLY intends on utilizing "chance", then he should just use a cube with six different colors on each side of the die. Because then the mass is equal on each side. Not that it actually made a difference. But I have the right to argue that it did, because it was not in my favor! Haha.

That was my last final of the fall semester of 2011. MIND BLOWING!

It has been such a joy ride. Well, just a ride in general. But it definitely incorporated a lot of joy. :)

There is SO MUCH I could say...but I am SO tired. And I KEEP ON using ALL CAPS. Oh, yawh. I so kewl.

I am off to bed! I may share some more of my thoughts later. But...it is time for me to sleep without any other self-induced reservations.

peace.

-2:07am