"To see if you've changed...

...I'm the same; that's what's wrong."

-Good Old War

There are just some things about some people that will change. And other things that will never change. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst (worse?).

Sorry to be so negative lately, but something that really bothers me, is when people complain that "people never change", but then turn around in a second and then go on whining that "people change". You just can't make general statements like that! Not every single person can fit into one category like that....no matter how much you want it to work. It won't.

Also, sometimes people develop extremely aggravating habits, but they're still the same person. Still the same soul.

That is all I can remember to talk about.

Currently talking to my BFF on the phone. She is the best. :)

-5:35pm

"Darkness is a harsh term, don't you think?...

...and yet, it dominates the things I see."

-Mumford & Sons

Well, first of all, can I just talk briefly about how much I am captivated by this band? There is such a purity of candid thought in all the lyrics. They are real. They address real issues of spirituality and life in a way that I believe can relate to everyone. And I love it because it is just so authentic. It's not just the good thoughts or the happy realizations, but it also expresses deep struggles of wonderment and inner turmoil; paired with inexplicably profound melodies and supporting music that is just impeccably matched with the lyrics. I can't ever get over it. I don't know if I will. I could listen to them alllll day long for weeks, maybe even MONTHS! AH.

Anyway, now I'll actually talk about what I had planned to rant about.

I'm slightly irritated. I get it. You think you're cute, or maybe you have a low self-esteem and need this to feel better about yourself. But PLEASE, for the LOVE of anything, stop posting pictures of yourself with little captions like "No make-up!" or "Just woke up" or "My life be like..." or "Friday nights be crazy.." (the last one is a picture of you making a cute face and sitting on a couch; nice touch, the clear dichotomy, there). EVERYONE KNOWS you take those pictures for the sole purpose of posting them on facebook, tumblr, instagram, or what have you. So....I BEG OF YOU. PLEASE STOP. I'M SICK OF SEEING YOUR FACE ON MY COMPUTER SCREEN (notice how I did not simply end the sentence with "seeing your face", but "seeing your face on my computer screen"). You're pretty cool. I like you most of the time. But can we just respect ourselves a little more and not feel the need to post pictures of ourselves every five minutes? I know what you look like. I don't need to see the many faces of you throughout your day. Just....especially when you take a picture of YOURSELF. It's just...so frustrating. I KNOW YOU DID IT ON PURPOSE.

If someone takes a cute picture of you, that's one thing. But...I just feel like it's so awkward to post a picture of yourself that has clearly been taken on your own time. Like you set aside specific time to take pictures of yourself. So you can post them on the internet. And people will say nice things about you. I just don't get it.

And maybe it's different when you're a photographer and you use a really nice camera or something, maybe not. But they're the worst when they're photobooth/webcam photos that are just.....AGH. I CAN'T HANDLE IT ANYMORE.

I know you're a cool person. I don't need to see your pictures. Have I made myself clear? I'm pretty sure I'm being redundant now....but so long as I've drilled my point into the vastness that is the internet, then I think I'll settle down now.

My apologies if you feel you've wasted time reading this. But honestly, I do not expect anyone to ever read this...I just need a place to freely go on about anything I wish without people giving me strange looks (in person, anyway).

Here's to the weekend!

Also....WOW. MY INTERNET STOPPED WORKING...I am livid. Saving this on my computer as a Word document and posting laytuh.

peace.

-9:35pm

"Hallelujah...

...it's raining men, amen!"

-Weather Girls

Well, here I am again. Not back to post about my weekend visiting the BFF. But on much more serious matters. I am procrastinating. Yaaaaay. :|

Anyhow, I chose this lyric because I have a couple thoughts on the matter. Who thought it was a good idea to say this!? I mean, honestly, I would be horrified if men started falling from the sky. Plus, what good would an umbrella be?

So many things to go into this being taken seriously. But I heard it said once, that the right to be heard does not automatically come with the right to be taken seriously. Hahahahaha. I thought that was funny. And very applicable to my life.

I applied to be an RA for the next academic year. Woot. We'll see how that goes. My interview is this coming Saturday at 8am! Meaning I have to be there at 7:45....meaning I have to leave at 7:25ish...meaning I have to wake up at the ungodly hour of 6:25am.

Is it wrong to use the phrase "ungodly" as a regular, average adjective? Hm.

I need new pants. All of mine have distasteful holes in them. I suppose they are just well-loved. And old. And FALLING APART.

Also, I need to be paid. And I need a job. And I will be paid. And I have prospects for a job, so that's good. We'll see.

I don't really know why I'm rambling on and on, but there it goes....I'm tired. I'll do my homework tomorrow. Great. Glad that's settled, then.

peace.

-1:03am

"I find a fatal flaw...

...in the logic of love."

-The Shins

Wellll, it's been a great weekend. I semi-spontaneously took a trip up about four hours to go visit my best friend at her university! It was absolutely wonderful. I left yesterday afternoon around 4:30pm, traffic was horrific and I got a little carsick, but I arrived safely around 9pm (it usually takes about three hours).

So I met her roommates, then we she decided that we take part in one of our most FAVORITE pastimes--stargazing! She knows of a place up on a hill, through a sketchy little gravel road, about three quarters of a mile out from where she lives. So she, one of her roommates, a male friend and myself all headed out to find this ideal place.

We made it! She and her roommate were freaking out about possibly being in a horror film. I remained sane.

Winds were projected to be up to forty miles per hour that night, so once we reached the top of the hill, not only was it late (11:30ish?) but it was also FREEZING. The wind was so strong, we could lean forward and be fully supported by the strength in the wind. CRAY CRAY.

So we stayed and hung out there for a while, watching the stars, telling stories, catching a few beautiful shooting stars, etc. Then we saw a laser pointer coming from atop another hill. People freaked out as they saw fit. Haha.

After we had been satisfied and chilled to our hearts' content, we made the trek back to the apartment. And apparently, there's a 24-hour donut company that's a hoppin', hip place to be in this town, so I was taken there.

It was great. I don't like donuts until I crave one, and BOY was I craving one!! 98 cents was my total for a chocolate old fashioned donut (per recommendation from man behind counter). I realize I often do that. When I don't have a strong preference, I generally ask the person serving me what their favorite item is and decide to go with that one. Haha.

So my donut was great! We sat at a little peninsula in the back corner where they had games. I revived my childhood passion for the game Mancala, and we also played Speed. Our male friend also charmed us with several great card/magic tricks!

As we were leaving (circa 2:45am), two men our age approached us. One carrying a box of donut holes, the other just an apparent wingman.

Men: "Anyone want a donut hole?"

Others: "Sure."

Me: "Are they very good? I've never had one..."

Man #1 (not holding the box): "You've never had one? Aw, yeah, you have to try one! They're pretty good."

Me: "Really? Okay, sure...I'll try one."

Man #1 (to Man#2): "Alright, she wants one!"

Next, I can't remember how this progressed, but it came down to this...

Man #2: "I'll tell you what...[looks in wallet] I'll give you a dollar for every one over fi--for every donut over four you can fit in your mouth."

Here are my thoughts in this moment...I LOVE a challenge. Especially one that is just for fun! So the money is completely superfluous, but appreciated.

Me: "Sure!"

Man #1 sits down on a nearby stool to get a good view. Man #2 holds the box open for me in front of my face. The rest of my company looks on, not very surprised by my actions.

I started with one...smushed it in against my cheek and my lower teeth. As I progressed and Man #2 seemed slightly uneasy at the ease at which I was dominating comments, "Well, I only have like five dollars, so..."

I stuffed seven donuts in my mouth. I made $3. And two random strangers very happily amused. And three of my friends just happy.

It's the little things in life that are just the best. My life is better than any scripted movie. Literally. God is so good to me. And I am so thankful.

Maybe I'll post about the activities of today, tomorrow. Until next time.

peace.

-10:41pm

"Ancestors, hear my plea...

...help me not to make a fool of me."

-Mulan

HAHA. Well, I don't really believe in the whole idea of ancestors helping you out, but I sure do believe that God can! And I am so thankful for that. :)

Anyway, I'm watching Mulan right now...for a very special reason....

I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND TOMORROW! AHH!

I really cannot contain my excitement. The last time I was there, the new Star Tours hadn't opened up yet, and the old one was closed, so I have been deprived for quite some time. :p

But anyhow, my family is on its way to my little humble abode. WOOT. I whipped up some pancake batter earlier so we can have some Mickey Mouse pancakes tomorrow morning before we head out!

Apparently, we're trying to leave at 7:15am. WHUT. Because Disneyland opens at 8:00am! We're always the type to get as much bang for our buck as possible, so I will also presume we will be staying until it closes (but who would want to leave any sooner than that, anyway?!).

AND WE GET TO SEE WORLD OF COLOR. Ohhhh my dear goodness, I am getting so pumped right now!

So I decided to stop watching "The O.C." because it just sends the wrong kind of message. Sure, it has some really great characters (SETH COHEN) and funny/humorous situations, but I think it exemplifies too much of a sex-driven lifestyle. And I really don't think it's healthy to be feeding one's mind with all that. Because that is certainly not what my life is about (not even remotely close). SO, I will no longer watch this show with the intention of watching the show and becoming emotionally invested in it. This was a decision made upon completion of the first season. Haha!

And then I watched the movie "The Holiday". I really like that movie. :)

But as I've been watching all these shows and movies, I realized that if that is indeed "real life", then I live nothing NEAR a normal life. I used to see romantic movies and shows and all that stuff and wonder why those things didn't happen to me or anyone I know. And then I realized that it's because I'm not entirely driven by my emotional investments. I am so thankful.

Now, I'm not saying I am any better than anyone else on this planet, because I DEFINITELY have my overwhelmingly share of shortcomings. But in spite of that, I have come to the realization that life is not about what "they" all tell us it is about. And I'm sure almost everyone has heard this idea, or something close to it, but, for Pete's sake, this is my blog and I'll write whatever I darn want to write!

All this to say, I think I'm excited for this Christmas break. And this Christmas. Although, I still have yet to purchase a gift for either of my parents...haha. Ahhhh, oh well.

So here I am, laying on a couch, watching Mulan, and waiting for family to arrive. I am so content with where I am in life, yet so frustrated with the staleness of it at the same time. AGH.

God is good and I have hope in Him.

peace.

-10:28pm

"California, here we come...

...right back where we started from."

-Phantom Planet

While I've been in my apartment alone, I have had a few revelations.

1. Drinking milk from the carton: a true sign of adulthood.

2. It's one thing to do everything alone while people are still around, and a whole NEW ballgame when you are entirely on your own.

I have watched probably close to five episodes of season one of "The O.C."! HAHA. Woot! And I love Seth Cohen. He is seriously SO funny. Everything he does...

My roommates had said that I am the female version of Seth Cohen, and I had caught glimpses of his splendor, but I really appreciate him. He makes me laugh so much...and I think it might be because I would probably do the same thing in most of his situations.

Ryan just said something profound, "I can't change where I've been; but I can change where I'm going."

There you have it, ladies and gents.

Welp, I'm quite tired after spending the evening with my sister, her roommate, and a friend of mine eating food and watching "The Help". SO GOOD.

Another inspirational quote for you, "You is kind, you is smart; you is important." AMEN to THAT, sistah! That will be a nice reminder for myself every once in a while. Of course, everyone needs to hear uplifting words.

Words of affirmation; so appreciated! Haha. I honestly don't even know what I'm saying right now. My mind is in so many places. I'm rambling. I'm thinking. I'm falling asleep. I'm watching The O.C. and falling in love with Seth Cohen. I'm laughing. I'm.......stopping. HA.

Alrighty, until next time.

peace.

-1:02am

My Heart Cries Out

"Create in me a clean heart, a clean heart
For I have turned my face from You
Teach us of Your ways oh God, oh God
For we have turned away from You
Lord have mercy

We will run to you, we will run to you
Turning from our sin we return to You
Father heal your world, make all things new
Make all things new

Your love and mercy build and shape us
Break us and recreate us now
Lord have mercy

Oh, bring us back to you"

-Gungor

peace.

-5:27pm